The Conditions for Growth

"We have to recognise that…there are conditions under which people thrive, and conditions under which they don’t.” - Sir Ken Robinson (on education as a ‘human system’)

When a flower does not bloom, we fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower (Den Heije, 2018). The same applies to human beings.

Equally, as Duncan-Andrade has said, we must endeavour to see each other not only for our ‘broken petals’ but also for our ‘tenacity and will to reach the sun’ (Duncan-Andrade in Shwartz, 2018).  

Although there is a genetic and epigenetic component of resilience to stress (Shore, 2020), generally speaking, resilience is not an individual quality or a trait that we are either born with or without. 

As the writings of Holocaust survivors Viktor Frankl (2004) and Boris Cyrulnik (2009) suggest, resilience is nurtured through cultivating a deep-rooted sense of connectedness with what is felt to be life-giving. This could be through our relationships with friends, loved ones, nature, animals, work, community, God - and of course, ourselves.

“Resilience is a mesh, not a substance. We are forced to knit ourselves, using the people and things we meet in our emotional and social environments.” (Boris Cyrulnik in Groskop, 2009). 

The resilience researcher Robbie Gilligan has written and spoken widely about resilience being both interactional (derived from interactions with our environment) and dynamic (a variable quality that is subject to change). He says:

“While resilience may previously have been seen as residing in the person as a fixed trait, it is now more usefully considered as a variable quality that derives from a process of repeated interactions between a person and favourable features of the surrounding context in a person’s life. The degree of resilience displayed by a person in a certain context may be said to be related to the extent to which that context has elements that nurture this resilience.” (Gilligan, 2004:94)

To return to the analogy of a plant, the healthier the soil and underground root systems, the healthier and more resilient the tree.

Throughout my experience of recovery from trauma and mental ill-health, I have researched many different perspectives. But the one perspective that has enabled me to change more than anything else, has been the maxim of ‘growth, rather than pathology’.

A trauma-focused view of trauma survivors, may not serve the very population it aims to describe; in fact, it may actually limit their potential for growth by focusing narrowly on flaws (‘broken petals’), rather than on the life-force running through us all (the ‘tenacity and will to reach the sun’). Southwick et al., (2004:7) caution:

“...the experience of trauma does not only yield pathology”. 

A growth-focused perspective on the other hand, emphasises that despite the difficult life circumstances or mental health difficulties we may face, our core ‘self’ is not fundamentally flawed.  Each individual is unique, whole and healthy – with intrinsic value and worth. And it is this instinctively wise ‘Self’ that can help us to heal and to grow, given the right conditions.

In other words, traumatic experiences may change our brain - but healing can also change the brain, as we grow through the pain. This is known as ‘adversarial growth.’

This is not to minimise the painful life events and adversities that we might have to face, but it is to focus our attention on what can lift us up and out of these dark places.

This view has been reiterated by Ann Masten who has suggested that:

“Resilience models emphasize positive influences without discounting risks and vulnerabilities.” (Masten, 2011, p.495).

Reframing the ‘pathology paradigm’ and shifting our perspective to focus more on the environmental and social conditions for growth, rather than on individual pathology - on what is strong, rather than what is wrong, is also essential to children’s ability to thrive in schools.

“The resiliency research…challenges educators to focus more on strengths instead of deficits, to look through a lens of strengths in analysing individual behaviours, and confirms the power of those strengths as a lifeline to resiliency…Most important, it indicates what must be in place in institutions, especially schools, for resiliency to flourish in the lives of students…who learn and work there.” (Henderson and Milstein, 2003:3)

If we look carefully enough, the conditions for growth can be found in the ‘ordinary magic’ that exists all around us (Masten, 2001). Ann Masten has famously said:

“Resilience does not come from rare and special qualities, but from the everyday magic of the ordinary, normative human resources in the minds, brains and bodies of children, in their families and relationships and in their communities.” (Masten, 2001: 235.)

Often resilience is like beauty - it is in the eye of the beholder. It is in the way we hold others, care for them, ensure their safety, meet their needs and love them. Diana Fosha agrees:

“The roots of resilience... are to be found in the sense of being understood by and existing in the mind and heart of a loving, attuned and self-possessed other.” - Diana Fosha (in Van der Kolk, 2014:105)

In fact, the more we can look through a lens of growth and see each other as whole, capable of health, and able to tap into our innate wisdom, the more we will naturally be able to demonstrate these essential qualities.

“My experience is that, the more I strive (and, sometimes, struggle) to see my clients as competent and successful so the more they tend to demonstrate these characteristics (and, at the same time, the more I simply don’t notice their deficits or pathology).” - Durrant, 1993:186 quoted in Gilligan, 2002

The term ‘Growth Mindset’ was coined by Stanford Professor Carol S. Dweck. She describes how individuals with more of a growth mindset, believe that abilities can be developed. Additionally, they are more likely to see effort as something that propels learning and to see setbacks as opportunities to build new skills.

Repeating growth-based mantras or positive affirmations is another powerful way to focus our attention on more of what we want in our life. We can use life-giving affirmations every day to help us to attract and cultivate the life that we truly wish to have.

This is the premise behind the ‘Law of Attraction’ theory, which argues that positive thoughts and actions reap positive rewards.

‘Quantum Healing’ approaches also maintain that the energy of the mind can be used to influence our physiological reality. Quantum (or energy) healing methods therefore aim to improve our lives by intervening at a fundamental, energetic level, rather than at a physical or chemical level.

Dr. Melanie Salmon, a former medical practitioner and psychotherapist, suggests that: “We communicate with the quantum field through our thoughts and feelings.” Affirmations such as “I am healthy and whole”, “I welcome ease and peace into my life”, or “All I need comes to me effortlessly” can shift the way we feel energetically, which can have a ripple effect on the way we approach our capacity for recovery.

The Buddhist nun, teacher and author Pema Chodron explains that this is essentially a compassion-based spiritual approach, which is more likely to result in positive change:

“When you come from the view that you’re fundamentally good rather than fundamentally flawed….you will have a growing understanding that you’re not a bad person who needs to shape up, but a good person with temporary, malleable habits that are causing you a lot of suffering. And then, in that spirit, you can become very familiar with these temporary but strongly embedded habits. We all carry around trunk loads of old habits, but very fortunately for us, they’re removable.” - Pema Chodron

Our worth lies beyond our external achievements or failures - it is situated at our very core. And whilst we may have broken places, we are never truly broken.

In recognising this, we can see that the capacity for resilience lies within us all like a seed - and with the right conditions for growth, both in our own hearts and minds, and in the hearts and minds of others around us, this seed will grow stronger and bigger each day.

“To heal, you have to get to the root of the wound, and kiss it all the way up.” - Rupi Kaur